“I Shoulda Been an Auto Parts Clerk!”

20131029-072504.jpgMy Dream Car (as in fantasy!)

I went into a local AutoZ___ to purchase a jack and lug wrench, because our 2013 Chevy Malibu only comes with an inflation kit—no spare, no donut, no tire tools (jack, etc.). Since there were a couple of customers being waited on, I decided to hurry things along—and show off my unique knowledge of “boy toy” paraphernalia. I read the overhead aisle signs and made a beeline down the correct aisle. So far, so good! I quickly located a four-way tire tool (better, by far, than those weak-torqued lug wrenches). Quite impressed with myself, I grabbed the tire tool, and what I thought was a jack, proud of my extraordinary feminine mechanical aptitude! I barely glanced at the box, though, because it was right next to the tire tools, and I was hurriedly trying to get errands done, before a planned car trip to Florida. Yet, it looked like a bottle-style jack.
When I got up to the young counter clerk, I explained that I was getting a jack before starting a long car trip to Florida. I asked the young man twice if the box (which I had so expertly selected) was what I needed. I even feigned the role of “helpless female,” to get him to come outside to take a look at my “wheels.” He assured me repeatedly that it was, indeed, what I needed for the trip.
Well, lo and behold, when I got home, my husband calmly informed me, between chuckles, that they had sold me a jack STAND, and not a jack! I guess trying to appear as a strong, mechanically-inclined woman in an auto parts store backfired—they apparently thought I looked strong enough to lift up the car onto the jack stand bare-handed!!! So, the key bit of wisdom to be gleaned here is, either know what you’re doing—or make sure your clerk does!

As a bit of consolation, of sorts, my brother suggested to me that it may not have been the salesman’s fault. Oh, now don’t go blaming his mother, or his uncle, or his second cousin, twice-removed! No, my well-meaning brother told me that AutoZ___ hires “people that don’t know what they’re doing!” I guess the salesman just didn’t have a clue about what he didn’t have a clue about, when he applied to, and accepted, employment with AutoZ___! Ergo, it very, most definitely, MUST be AutoZ___’s fault! (See the flawless logic!)

Just a note: I know a LOT about cars: I know that a tire goes DOWN, a jack goes UP, pistons go UP and DOWN, and a camshaft goes ‘ROUND and ‘ROUND—that is, unless one forgets to check the oil level—which only goes DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, in which case, EVERYTHING grinds to a screeching HALT! So there!!! I COULD work at an AutoZ___!!!

Take a fun quiz to see whether you’d make a good auto parts clerk. 

Auto Knowledge Quiz


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