Facebook Tell-All

What is it about Facebook that makes ordinarily quiet and reserved people perfectly willing to share intimate details about themselves, sometimes even including confessions about criminal activities. I think it has a lot to do with a false perception as to the reality of the Facebook audience. Posting to “Public” feels like these personal secrets are being cast into a dumbwaiter hole, headed for an incinerator in a distant Neverland, far, far away.

That has to be the rationale behind my recent tell-all, in response to a teen-style questionnaire. Why did I spill this stuff??!!

1.) Been drunk – $3,600+ (that’s 360 x $10 – very rough estimate only)

2.) Smoked weed – $120 (maybe a dozen times, in my 20’s & early 30’s)

3.) Went streaking – 0

4.) Skinny dipping -0

5.) Been arrested – 0, but deserved to be – see numbers (1.) and (2.) above, (14.), (15.), and (17.) through (19.)!

6.) Gotten a ticket – $10, for running a stop sign, to keep a police cruiser from rear-ending me in a blinding rainstorm

7.) Egged a house – 0

8.) Wrecked a car – $50 (3 were my fault and very minor)

9.) Played ding dong ditch – never heard of it

10.) Sang karaoke – $0 (would like to, though)

11.) Traveled outside the U.S. – $20 (Mexico and Routan, Honduras)

12.) Been suspended – 0 (I tried to get suspended once, to fit in with a group other than the nerds, by shooting a spit wad on the school bus, but since my uncle was the driver, I only got detention.)

13.) Been expelled – 0

14.) Drag raced – $20 (First one: beat a Corvette, in my senior year of high school, in my Ford station wagon, going uphill, out of Evansville, IN. That old Ford 289 engine was boss! Second one: Driving my step-dad’s new Nissan Z, through Bridge City, TX, to be serviced in Port Arthur, I look over at a red light and see Jason Sugar in his new black TransAm. The light turned green, and my normally meek and quiet mom said,”Floor it!” We took off, got pressed into the seat by the G’s of that Z, and won!)

15.) Stolen something – $20 (The first was a silver, wrap-around ring, while on a school trip. I lost it one summer, while swimming, and figured that God saw to it that I got what I deserved. Then, I moved almost 1,000 miles away, feeling rather guiltless. But, guess what..my former boyfriend found it, and mailed it to me. So, I could not escape my guilt, after all!)

16.) Pulled a fire alarm – 0

17.) T.P.’d a house – $10

18.) Gotten a felony – 0 ( I did try to use postage stamps, one or twice, that had already been cancelled, but had no ink on them, except the glue didn’t hold. The older folks will know what I’m talking about. Pretty nefarious stuff… ! Could get you 20 years in the pen!)

19.) Been kicked out of class – 0 (Was kicked out of a bar, once, for getting my hair caught on fire! NOT my fault! Honestly! Lol)

20.) Met a rock star – 0 (Always wished I could have met Johnny Cash; he reminded me of my dad.)

Before I started this, I always thought that I was pretty much a rules-follower. At last (or alas), the truth comes out! And this list doesn’t even scratch the surface. WOW! Lol

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