Spider: 1, Me: Zero

After waking from the cozy comfort of my bed, and heating a nice cup of coffee, I was minding my own business, innocently stumbling, dazedly, toward my favorite rocker, when I happened to notice a curiously dark smudge, directly above my intended seat. “A spider,” I thought to myself. They don’t especially bother me, if they keep their distance, and do their job of eliminating other insects.
Yet, as I cautiously stepped closer, to have a better look, the smudge seemed to do an about-face, and edge slightly closer. I hurriedly found my glasses, and approached my favorite coffee chair again, only to be greeted by a really audacious, medium-sized arachnid, that again, inched menacingly towards me.
Unnerved by his primal boldness, I retreated to the kitchen for a can of bug spray. In my absence, however, the spider had climbed even higher on the vaulted ceiling of my computer room, and I realized that the paltry mist of my weapon would barely reach his perch, if at all.
Sure enough, immediately after I aimed the can of death at my tiny foe, and pressed the button, the wily predator let go from his expert grip of the ceiling, and fell unceremoniously, through the toxic mist, into the expanse of the depths below, kamikaze-style. He (or she) had not been struck dead on contact, but had escaped into the vicinity of my favorite chair.
Now, I have no idea where this eight-legged menace is lurking. Under my rocker—or worse—in it? Crawling across the dark carpet at my feet, with a mouthful of bug spray, waiting for an opportunity to bite into me and release his deadly load?
He (or she) was a half-inch, at most, while I stand 5’4,” weighing in at about 135 (give or take 5 or more pounds), and was armed with science’s latest chemical cocktail, encased in a convenient and artfully-designed purple can of poison propellant. Yet, the wee, wily arachnid won a decisive battle. 
Time will tell, whether there will be eight crinkly legs pointed up to the ceiling, in some obscure corner of my house—or two!”

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: