I don’t remember if I brushed my teeth today. Most days are like that now. My last few posts have sounded sententious but really, I’m a newbie mom and I have no clue if what I’m doing is going to scar my son for life or create a genius, or neither.
I’ve been in a nebulous funk. Days and nights just whirl together; time in new motherhood is unstructured. It is the complete opposite of life as we know it, as responsible adults. There is no need for an alarm clock. As a mom, you sleep with one eye open, anyway.
I was shell shocked by how profusely my life would change by taking care of a kid. I learned to eat a meal in 3.5 seconds and took showers that ended before the water even turned on. (Okay, I’m joking…but only slightly!) Bathroom breaks…Ha! Things are more clogged up than the air in a Los Angeles highway at rush hour. Laundry piled up so high it was easier to just go out and buy jeans. And yes, I did do that once. When friends used to visit, it was an elaborate event with food, wine, candles and Netflix. Omg, wine. The closest thing I have now to wine is my baby whining at 3am to let me know he’s sleepy. And by whine…I mean screaming. Now they’re lucky if I even make it out of bed to unlock the front door.
I’m not saying I dislike this adventure in my life. Quite the contrary. I love being a mom. I love my 9 week old son to the point where if I haven’t slept in 24 hours, I’d still rather stare at his beautiful, cherubic face than hit the sack. But in the early days, it’s all about survival. Especially when you’re doing it alone.
And really, nothing *nothing* matters more than spending those early moments together. Laundry can wait. F*** the dishes, that’s what take out is for. And friends? If they’re real friends, they’ll come over and change some nappies at the drop of a dime so you can shower and wash the spit-up out of your hair.